Tash

My name is Tash, I'm 26 years old. My battle with drugs started at the age of 13. It started with me smoking weed and very quickly evolved into anything I could get my hands on. I fell in love with the escape, I chased and chased the feeling of complete oblivion. I didn't want to die but I just didn't want to be "here". I struggled from a very young age. I wat to say maybe 7-8, with mental health issues and trauma and the only thing that made all of it go away (temporarily) was drugs. So all of that mixed with the life of a teenager, turned my world upside down very quickly! I was in and out of hospitals from the ages of 15-22 from either overdosing, treating the damage that drugs have done, or the rapid decline of my mental health because of drugs. I went into psychosis for a few years as a result of everything and I was in severe danger. But I got help, I didn't think it could get any worse and I stayed clean for about 10 months, and I was doing really well. Little did I know, it could get worse, much much worse. I went back out and for 3 years life was a complete disaster. I hit a wall and I thought "this is it, this is my life now" and I didn't think I had a way out. The only thing that got me out was nearly dying and ending up in hospital with a very serious health condition. I nearly lost my leg and I nearly lost my life. I lost a toe but I can deal with that. So after all of that life got really good I was clean, I had my life back my family, my friends back, and made a load of new friends and I was actually happy for once in my life. I had a couple of slips around that time but I had great support and I could manage. Until I couldn't. Until alcohol out of all things caught me. I was never much of a drinker, but by God I made up for all those years of not drinking very quickly. It started off small and ended up where I couldn't open my eyes In the morning without drinking a bottle of whiskey. I was hiding it from everyone and living a lie. Again. And for 2 years drink almost took everything I gained away. I was living in fear every day and I started using again while drinking and life got very dangerous again. But thankfully the support I had built before drink was still there and everyone came together and dragged me back up, blood sweat and tears!! And I am forever grateful for every single one of them because at this very moment I am 4 months sober!! And I wouldn't have done it alone. The most important part of my sobriety at the moment is people, and being able to talk to people. Going to meetings, learning about addiction and valuing my life. I do still struggle most days but thanks to all of the supportive people in my life right now I know I am not alone !! I want to be able to live my life and to live it sober, I want to make memories because believe me I have wiped most of them clean. I am so glad I am doing this as a young woman and I hope to God it sticks because life for me right now is a miracle and it was a gift I was given so I'm going to try and put it to good use!! Thank you for reading, have an amazing day !!